I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
