Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
