I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
