Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
