Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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