got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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