I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
