if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
