8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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