I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
