then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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