well I can't set my house on fire every night
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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