You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
