Who did Billy Mays play for?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
