Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
