you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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