He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
