She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
