It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
