I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
