I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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