My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
