I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
if only i could text you this smell
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
