idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
