I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
