You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
