Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
