I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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