I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Life is so much better after having sex.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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