Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
