Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
