I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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