i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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