she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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