Kiss
Puke
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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