Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
