She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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