mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
