party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
