please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
