just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
