we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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