I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
