Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's shark week go big or go home
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
