Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
