Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
