I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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