He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
