We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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