I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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