ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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